沟通吧，别把你爱的人推开

非官方大哥

算算时间自己上网也有好几年了，虽然并不喜欢聊天，虽然也常常隐身，但是，想找你的还是会找。有人只是看见你在线三言两语礼貌性的问候，这是我喜欢的那类朋友，不会不停的询问长短缠着不放，我也会礼貌的回应对方，君子之交嘛应该这样。有人找你完全闲着无事就为了聊天，这样的朋友我一般两三句话后就置之不理了。可是，还有人就是想找你聆听她的烦恼，也许也不需要你安慰，就想要有一个一吐为快的情绪排泄出口处。这个世界，有人欢乐自然有人痛苦，心态平和的人会找寻自己快乐的源泉，对于烦恼会一笑而过忘记的快，因为知道耿耿于怀也于事无补。而自觉烦恼痛苦的人，总觉得自己那么可悲，一点一滴的小事无形中加起来都会成压力，看不开放不下，于是就需要找人诉说，似乎这样才能发泄内心的烦躁。说的最多的就是家庭问题。
　　
　　是啊，人的一生婚姻是重要的一部分。一个家的温馨幸福，取决于两个人的相处方式。每个人的素质，心地，思维不同，看法、跟做法就会不同。家庭中人与人之间总会存在或多或少的矛盾。但是问题不等于难题，总是会有解决的方式吧，就看你有没有正确面对的能力。大多数我们是靠语言向对方解释来达到理解。也就是双向的对话。但是表达能力或者对方听者分心或周围环境都会影响沟通的效果。1：你想说出来的话。2你实际说出来的话语。3对方耳中听到你说的话音。4：对方听到你说的话对你原来意思的理解。有时候我们谈话当中说话的语气和口吻都会造成谈不通，还会越说越生气。意义在心里，不是外界表面的。
　　
　　这时候我们可以试着用其他的方式。例如：1：文字。用文字述写来表达面对面不方便讲的内心感受。因为说话的音量与音质会表达不完整真正的涵义。语言不是以自己为水平，而是以对方的水平为水平来理解。2：时间。对他人要求的事情，如果立刻去办，就会显得热诚、重视。一拖再拖对方肯定会觉得你不关心，心里会有凉意，会有不被在乎的失落。3：手势或身体语言、还有物品等等。夫妻之间有了分歧隔阂千万不要忽略。家庭的和睦不是谁争服谁，也不是让对方顺服，而是要双方相互理解信任忍让包容。再和睦的夫妻都会有吵几句的时候，就比如我这样好脾气的女人，有时候也有想不通的时候，彼此沉默不说话，可又不能让事情恶化啊，我的宗旨是从不让矛盾过夜，那我就这样去做，嘿嘿。
　　
　　其实，有些事情很简单，我们只要站在对方的立场来看待事情多做考虑，便拉近了沟通的距离。这需要谦卑，需要做出某种程度的退让，也算是做出牺牲。但是为了你爱的人做点牺牲又算得了什么呢？有无药可救的人，但是我想绝对不会有无动于衷的人，当你做了那么多时，我相信对方一定会感动。因为你们是夫妻，是一体的，是携手同行一辈子的人，也是孩子们的榜样。幸福和快乐是人人都希望和向往的。写了这些也只是些我个人肤浅的观点，但我希望对有了矛盾不知该怎样面对的朋友有所帮助。人的一生说长不长说短不短，相处总有摩擦，只要把对方真正的当家人，放心上，用爱呵护温暖彼此，那么幸福快乐一定属于你。衷心祝所有家庭和和美美.
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